 Paul Elser is a hands-on type of guy. His
dream was to be an Air Force pilot. He’s too tall
at 6-8. He’s nearly color blind. That’s two strikes
against him. Growing up on a cattle farm near Lake
Park, IA, he also thought about becoming a veterinarian.
Now he’s the new boys basketball coach at
NU High and a physical education teacher.
Elser was recruited to play basketball at Northwestern
College in Orange City. In his own words,
“basketball was good, school was a struggle. I wasn’t
prepared to handle the amount of time it took to be
a student-athlete and to dedicate myself to studies.
I decided I wasn’t going to be the best basketball
player in the world and at that point I didn’t want
to be. So I transferred to the University of Northern
Iowa where my brother was going and switched
majors from business to education and coaching. I
like seeing results. I like to see a kid grow, and see
their skills grow.”
He tried out as a walk on with the UNI men’s
basketball team. Then UNI head coach Eldon
Miller cut him. Later, he met Carrie Miller, Eldon’sdaughter. It was at least a month after the two had
been dating that he learned of the family connection.
Carrie and Paul eventually married.
“
It was quite a joke at our wedding,” Elser said.
“My father-in-law cut me, so I married his daughter.
Carrie didn’t speak about Eldon being her father in the beginning. She didn’t want guys dating
her because of who she was.”
The couple returned to Cedar Falls in June after
traveling the world for 11 years as teachers and
coaches. The pair student-taught at the American
International School in Cairo, Egypt, then were
hired as fulltime teachers where they spent two additional
years. Paul served as athletics director and
coached varsity girls basketball and softball and junior
varsity boys basketball.
“Cairo is a dirty, very populated place and the
poverty level is very high,” Elser said. “But we were
just married and had no cares. We had a blast. Did
a couple trips down the Nile, a couple camping trips
in the desert. We have no regrets at all. But we
wanted to start a family and take a step forward in
our careers. We moved to Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, because
it has really good hospitals.”
Paul taught grades 6-12 at the Saudi Arabian
International School and coached junior varsity
boys volleyball, boys and girls track and field, and
varsity boys volleyball and basketball while also
serving as athletics director.
“We had airline benefits since the school was
run by an airline company,” Elser said. “We got to
fly to Europe and places. The first three years were
a great experience but the last year and a half was
miserable because of the (Iraq) war. It really got ugly after the Abu Ghraib pictures were exposed.
After that, we kept a low profile. We were told to
watch for any strange markings or tags on our vehicles
because terrorists were identifying western
cars.”
Carrie gave birth to two children in Jeddah.
Kiley was born Oct. 4, 2000, and Joey March 21,
2003. About 12 months after she was born, Kiley
was showing signs of falling short in physical and
oral development. By the age of 18 months she
wasn’t doing things she should have been doing.
Carrie brought her home to the University of Iowa
Hospitals in Iowa City where she was confirmed to
have Rett Syndrome, a neurological disorder caused
by mutations of the MECP2 gene on the X chromosome.
There is no cure. Early developmental milestones appear normal, then there is a delay or
regression affecting speech, hand skills and coordination.
Now seven years old, she can’t talk or feed
herself and can only walk with assistance.
“We never panic,” Elser said. “We stayed in
Saudi Arabia.”
Joey was diagnosed at about age two with autism
and is one of the reasons the family has moved
back to the states, although the relocation did not
happen before the family spent three years in Duri,
Indonesia, at the Chevron (Oil) American School
after leaving Jeddah.
Duri was the family’s favorite location. It is a 10,000-people camp in the middle of the jungle,
occupied by dependents of the Chevron Oil Company.
It has an 18-hole golf course, a tennis court,
and the Elser’s residence had a pool in the backyard.
Paul did not coach so there was plenty of time to
spend with the family, including eating lunch together
every day. Carrie learned to quilt and has 70
to 80 quilts in their Cedar Falls home.
The challenges of two children with special
needs eventually persuaded the couple they needed
to come home. Paul first was hired as a PE teacher
at NU High, then was named head boys basketball
coach.
“Not that we didn’t want to come back,” Elser
said. “I loved going to school here. Carrie loved
going to school here. We love Cedar Falls.”
Kiley spends a couple hours each day at River
Hills School.
“I hope for a (Rett Syndrome) cure,” said Elser.
“It would be nice if they could at least find something
to help lessen the (symptoms). I’d love to
have her talk and use her hands. We feel she’s very
aware. When you talk to her, her eyes are very alert.
When I’m playing with her, she gives reactions like
a normal kid. She laughs, she has sounds she uses
because she can’t form words.
“She loves watching TV and videos. Elmo is
by far her favorite. When things aren’t going well,
playing a little Elmo on TV sometimes makes her
happy. If that doesn’t work, we know something is
really wrong. She likes to go for walks, we take her
to the park. We read books to her. She’s a good
sleeper, but we feed her by tube during the night to
help give her more energy. Kiley will be in our care
forever.”
Joey attends a Kids at Risk program at Valley
Park School. “Joey loves school,” Elser said. “Our
hope for him is that we can raise him to be as selfsufficient
as possible, get a job some day. We feel
he has a lot of potential. He’s really a boisterous,
outgoing little boy. He’s loving and smart. But he
needs assistance with his social skills.”
With Paul teaching and coaching, Carrie
working part-time and taking classes to complete
her master’s degree, and two kids needing almost
around-the-clock care, the Elser household rarely is
quiet and peaceful.
“We have good families,” Elser said. Eldon
and his wife, Dee, are living with Carrie, Paul, Kiley
and Joey for much of this first year to help them get
settled and find the help and resources they need.
Then they’ll return to their home in northern Michigan.
Paul’s parents live about four hours away.
“Carrie and I have a pretty good outlook on
things,” Paul said. “We felt sorry for ourselves and
felt sorry for our kids, then we got over it. You’ve
got two choices. You can complain about it, or you
can live your life as if your kids were normal. We’re
not afraid to ask for help. We try to provide for
them as best we can and not let it consume us. I
think we’ve made the right decisions.
“Eldon is so supportive,” Elser added. “It’s like
having another father figure around. He’s a guy I
can talk to anytime I need advice. We play golf together.
He’s obviously a great resource for basketball,
too. Sometimes he’ll even offer without being
asked, which doesn’t bother me a bit. If you want to
be a good coach or teacher, you have to keep learning.”
Paul is inheriting a very talented NU High
team with three returning starters from a squad
that won over 20 games a year ago. “And we have
a great group of young kids coming up,” he said. “I
play to win, I expect them to play to win, but win
the right way. Don’t complain about things. I do
the talking. Just play basketball.”
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